There is little more intimidating than being stared at relentlessly and quietly by a seemingly innocent little girl. Why won’t she stop staring? Make it stop…

There are times when I look at RPGs and think to myself “this genre is an abject lesson in how to break economies.” RPG economies are so broken, in fact, that it all seems to cancel itself out and fix itself again.

In case you were wondering, steps two, four, five and eight involve alcohol and crying on each other’s shoulders. I believe this is how most fictional characters would react to seeing some of the ships they wind up in.

Touch self bad! How bad? Very bad indeed! No touch self!

If I could be bothered, I’d print “Alcohol and mad science mix too well” on a shirt. I’d make truckloads of cash.

No time travelling until you do everything you’re predestined to do!

Oh, but the cooties! They must be feared and respected. No, wait. Not respected. Just feared.

Ice cream: Distracting children from the fact they’ve gone back in time since time immemorial. Nobody remembers because whenever anyone asks, they get offered ice cream.

This was something like the first joke I thought of. What if Kain didn’t notice there were two Rydias until really late into the story?

f you thought this year’s was badly written, you’ve seen nothing yet! Enjoy the new year, folks!